Archer: A Viewer’s Guide
Published: Friday, February 8, 2013
Updated: Sunday, February 10, 2013 17:02
If you have watched the FX series Archer, then you are familiar with the most
brilliant and hysterical show that has graced television since South Park. If you
haven’t seen Archer, then stop reading this immediately and go watch it. Seriously,
disregard your homework until after you’ve fully caught up with the series. Your
homework can wait and your professors will understand. If you have seen Archer
and you find my analysis of its intelligence and importance to be stupid, then…well,
you’re stupid.
Okay, so I decided to write this viewer’s guide because it has come to my attention that not everybody is watching the show properly. While an informal, uninformed viewing will still be the best thing you have ever seen, if you follow my advice you will enter a state so holy that it makes nirvana look like a drunken stupor. So, without further adieu, here are my tips:
1) Watch the episodes in order. Seriously, the show is like the bible in the sense that it likes to reference itself all the time. While it may be funny to see Archer’s tattoos on his back, their effect is amplified if you understand why he has them. Unsurprisingly, jokes like this are only accessible if you
watch the episode they are born from.
2) Read extremely highbrow literature. The show likes to reference the books that you are reading here at school. Seriously – if you watch out for
it, you will notice entire plots that center on insanely intellectual things. The phallic jokes are just a ruse cleverly disguised to mask them. Trust
me.
3) Each episode requires multiple viewings. If you are like me (and you really should strive to be) then your own laughter drowns out half of an episode during your first viewing. If you are somebody who does hear every line of dialogue, then, trust me, a joke flew by that went way over
your head and you won’t pick up on it until the second, third, fourth, or fifteenth viewing.
4) Be sure to randomly say “Danger Zone” in daily conversation. Just slip it in there. Instead of telling people you’re going to class, just say you’re going to the “danger zone.” Or, instead of the library, let everybody know that you’re going to study at the “danger zone.” Everything sounds way cooler when you phrase it that way. The word order can be changed to “zone of danger” if you desire. To be fair, this doesn’t have to do with watching the show, but I wanted to get it in here.
5) All this talking about Archer has made me want to go to the danger zone.
So, I guess this article is over. Adios! Don’t forget to rub salt into your butler’s cold, bead eyes and to drink liberally (if you are over 21).
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