Cue the Cuteness
Published: Sunday, September 22, 2013
Updated: Sunday, September 22, 2013 16:09
Hello my sassy saders (which FYI, I am not the culprit of that Twitter account. (Its grammar and overall humor is childish and pathetic.) ...And welcome back to the hill! School has now officially begun with the reinstatement of my fashion fairy godmother column and this year my followers it will be bitchier and better than ever!! So buckle up and get ready for a years supply of criticism, counseling, and casualties.
But before I begin with todays lesson, I would like to take a moment to debrief you all on my summer in the city. Many of you may remember the show The City starring my good friend and confidant Whitney Port (lol), well lets just say that show is a load of bull shit. Working as an intern at Jean Paul Gaultier, a designer of similar standards to Whitney’s internship with Diane Von Furstenberg, I dripped sweat running down Fifth Ave balancing mannequins, got a third degree burn from a cappuccino machine, and was on call twenty four hours a day leaving me with bags under my eyes the size of birkins (the Hermes signature tote). I have no idea how my girl Whit had time to date an Australian guitarist and sip champagne at Rose Bar.
All jokes aside, summering in the city gave me a completely new outlook on the world of fashion. Through tedious meetings at Bergdorf Goodmans, selling summer swimwear to the team at Saks fifth Avenue, and 12 hour photo-shoot sets, I spent time listening and learning from some of the best. Leaving the constraints of the upper echelon preppy palace that is Holy Cross, I saw a whole new diversity of design expanding my own wardrobe beyond its previous Lilly Pulitzer pinks. That being said, I will leave you with a quote from my boss, “(insert Parisian accent here) Being an individual means you have respect of the self. If you remember one thing from your summer here, it is to look in the mirror, and let the mirror tell you the truth. Fashion is fantasy Katie, and models are fictional.”
This year I think we should all abide by Juliette’s rules, the most important rule being, LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Week one of classes left me feeling inspired and hopeful of the future weeks to come, however, weeks two and three left me with suicidal thoughts and premature hatred of all males rocking athletic socks with Sperrys! Sperrys are boat shoes and do humans wear socks on boats? No! Clearly we need a lesson on judging the aggressiveness of morning ensemble selections. Rating your outfit is simple! Do as Soulja Boy says…Hop up outta bed turn your swag on take a look in the mirror and say is this outfit aggressive!? If there is the smallest margin of doubt in your mind, change! If you have high heels on with a mini skirt…change! If your underwear is visible through your bottoms…change! If you’re wearing a peasant skirt…change! And if you smear red lipstick across your lips for an 8:00 am class…reevaluate your life! Marilyn Monroe didn’t go to college so why the hell are you dressing like her?
Like Obama, I have hope and change for the college community. Yes we can dress with class and a taste level to match our IQ’s. You are all officially enrolled in a fifth class, or potentially sixth class for the overachievers, Survey of Collegiate Cuteness. So get cute crusaders! Its time to do work!
Katie E. DeGennaro,
Your fashion fairy godmother!