How Nicholas Sparks is Ruining Valentine’s Day
Published: Friday, February 14, 2014
Updated: Monday, February 17, 2014 15:02
He’s not going to write you 365 letters. He’s not going to write you every day for a year. No one has the time or patience to handwrite 365 letters and mail them every single day. So why would anyone do this when they could text “hey” in five seconds or less?
Some girls may claim that chivalry is dying or that no one really dates anymore, but as society evolves, the pressure put on relationships must adjust appropriately. If you’re a bird, he probably doesn’t want to be a bird too. Maybe he hates birds. This shouldn’t mean he doesn’t like you.
Every girl I know has watched Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook” upwards of ten times, and with every minute of romantic screenplay, they fall more in love with Noah and less in love with the real lives they are living. The possibility of a guy writing you letters evolves into expectation and plagues the female mind.
If you’re sitting around waiting for Noah to climb his way up a Ferris wheel towards your heart, you shouldn’t hold your breath. There’s a difference between settling and adjusting your expectations, and it’s a disparity to be conscious of.
Genuine love exists and people do romantic things all the time, but the media has seized the hearts of every woman in society and forced us to hold love to an impossible standard. I too have fallen victim to the allure of Ryan Gosling’s multitude of romantic comedy characters, but—I hate to break it to you—he probably doesn’t behave like that in real life.
My intention isn’t to crush the hopes and dreams of every romantic crusader, but to provide some perspective for Valentine’s Day skeptics. If you find yourself hating today regardless of your relationship status, lower your expectations. He isn’t going to write you a poem or a love ballad but if he sends you a text, it means he was thinking about you.
Guys should be kind and be gentleman but they should not be expected to go to any extremes that you wouldn’t go to in return. A genuinely good person who loves you should not be at all discredited for not meeting the ridiculous expectations that you probably didn’t even tell him about. He isn’t a mind reader, and neither are you.
As enticing as the romantic comedy movie industry is, how often do you leave the theater with a heart full of envy as every girl breathes, “I want that” upon her exit? Envy is one of the deadly sins, after all. I wouldn’t expect your crush to start single-handedly building your dream house anytime soon.