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College Switches to New ‘Ratemyprofessor.com’ Based Incentive System

M-Egg-alophobic Contributor

Published: Friday, February 22, 2013

Updated: Sunday, February 24, 2013 16:02

President Fr. Burroughs signed legislation Wednesday starting a controversial incentives program for our college’s professors.  The program was to incentivize professorial quality by providing bonus’ for the educators with the highest scores on popular student website “RateMyProfessor.com”.   The program was the first of its kind and was the subject of harsh scrutiny from people all over the country for allowing something like salary to be left up to student subjectivity, and as of this morning it seems that controversy was warranted, as two professors, who wished to remain anonymous, had to be transported to St. Vincent’s due to potential alcohol poisoning.       
“The scene was crazy,” one student commented, “Two priests picked us up and drove us to Salty and it was packed with professors.  They were just buying kids pitchers of beer and shouting about how nice a review on ‘RateMyProfessor’ would be.  One math dude made people make accounts and write reviews before he’d give them beers.” 
    The scene was reported to be a mad house from several other students, with one commenting he was fairly certain he saw Philosophy professor Joseph Lawrence “Doing a mean Bernie” and witnessed English Professor James Kee “Riding the Bull”.  Latin Professor Blaise Nagy was caught using a fake ID that stated he was 22, used “to blend in with the rugrats”
    The website in question actually crashed around two in the morning due to an incredible influx of accounts being made and reviews being written in the Worcester Area.  The Board of Directors will be reviewing the situation on Monday and will debate whether or not to revoke the new legislation.

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